Internet Marketing is FAKE

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this post is an april fool's joke

I have had enough… I am getting out of the online business world, it is filled with hype, and I don’t want to be a part of it any longer.

What’s more, I am going to reveal the industries’ dirty secrets… including:

*Who REALLY created Digg.com
*Why Frank Kern is Scared of water
*How Photoshop is used to make marketers look cool
*How Seth Godin Created an ACTUAL purple cow
*& tons more

1) Marketers are NOT Who You Think They Are

The 4-hour workweek book accidentally uncovered the truth behind this. You see, most marketers outsource pretty much EVERYTHING that they do.

Afterall, for the few that ACTUALLY make 7-figures, do you think they really are going to sit behind a computer all day answering emails and talking to the public?

Of course not.

Confession time: 90% of the blog posts on DeanHunt.com over the past two years were written by my twin brother (Lee Hunt). I trained him in writing, gave him some topics, and spent my days on the Xbox360.

If you feel cheated by this, then I apologise, but trust me, others are doing it to a far great level.

(see below)

2) The Fake Lifestyle.

Marketers used to wear a suit and tie, be professional etc…

Then, something amazing happened.

A new generation of people got interested, and suddenly, these big shot marketers went from gods, to boring.

So they panicked, they knew they had to adapt, but most of them had never done anything exciting in their lives.

So what did they do?

They pretended.

Do you recognise this guy?

It is actually Frank Kern.

frank kern before

Now look at this more recent photo:

fake frank kern

Quite a difference hey?

It is amazing what a few hair extensions and fake tan can do.

As for the surfer image…. Frank is actually allergic to Seaweed, so he can’t go near the water.

And how about Yanik Silver?

yanik silver

You may know him as a Maverick, a guy that jumps out of planes, does white water rafting, a marketing version of James Bond…

Well let’s just say that I have “partied” with Yanik, and by “party” I mean we played chess, and drank pineapple juice for 4 hours straight.

oh, and he is scared of heights.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“But Dean, I have seen photos of Yanik jumping out of planes…” I hear you cry…

I have two words for you my friend: “Photo” and “Shop”

3) Long Sales Pages are designed to confuse you.

Why else would they make sales pages that are often longer than the product they are selling?

You see, it is info overload, so many big red fonts, graphics, arrows, and have you noticed how they use huge numbers in their copy? This is to confuse the analytical part of your brain.

It works in two ways:

a) The info overload makes you confused and panic, thus making your problems seem even bigger. So when the marketer offers the solution, you will want it more than ever.

b) “Inflight entertainment theory” – Have you ever noticed that movies on planes seem better than they actually are. This is because the alternative is so boring.

It is the same with sales pages, your options are: read this HUGE sales letter, or buy my product, and suddenly, the prospect of the product is more appealing.

It really is a dark magic.

So there we go, the secrets that have been burning a hole in my conscience for the past few years. It has been like going behind the curtain in the movie ‘Wizard of Oz’, and I just can’t take it any longer.

If you have read my blog posts over the past few years and enjoyed them, then I will pass on your kind words to my twin brother, if you have had any nice email chats with me, then I will pass on your kind words to my mother (who pretends to be me via email).

Oh, and for those of you who were impressed with my stage performance in Washington in Feb… how do you think I went from nervous wreck with huge stage fright, to putting in such a great performance?

Let’s just say it is good to have friends who are out of work actors and comedians ;-)

dean hunt

The cat is out of the bag my friends, the revolution has begun.

Will the real marketing industry please stand up?

As for me… well, the REAL me, I am going to continue my work in the bee keeping industry… afterall, it is the only place I can truly generate BUZZ.

My first, and last ever blog post…. by Dean Hunt

PS: There were other things I wanted to talk about, but I didn’t have the time, so here are a few:

* Tim Ferriss‘ book was planned to be called “4-hour Workday” but a dyslexic editor accidentally changed it to “workweek”.

* Seth Godin actually owns a purple cow, he fed it nothing but red cabbage for three weeks, realised that nobody would eat the meat from a purple cow, so decide to write a book to get back his $900 cow investment.

* Michael Dunlop from Retireat21.com is a pensioner from London, actual age: 76. The website name was initially tongue-in-cheek, but he soon realised that people thought that retiring at 21 was actually possible, so he uses photos of his grandson.

* Gary Vaynerchuk drinks a whopping 24 cans of red bull per day.

* Alex Albrecht is the real creator of Digg.com, but Kevin won the site in a drunken thumb wrestling bet.

  • http://www.retireddieter.com Dave

    I actually think the one about Gary Vaynerchuk is correct ;)

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  • cy

    happy april fool!

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  • http://matthewguise.com Matt

    I just *knew* it.

    Got a great idea though – why not JV with airlines to get them to replace the in-flight movie with a bunch of your long-form sales letters?

    Conversion rates would be ‘sky high’ (sorry ;-) )

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  • http://camstudio.org Nick The Geek

    WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING DUDE REVEALING ALL OUR SECRETS???

    Do you realize the **** you’re gonna get into when Kern and Silver find out??

    Thank GOD you didn’t tell anyone that Mike Filsame actually came up with “Butterfly Marketing” after discovering that particular market segment wasn’t having offers promoted to them …

    Or that The Rich Jerk is actually Denise Schweckle, an 84-year old retired midwife living in Jim Edwards old trailer suffering from such an acute case of Cussphobia, that she has to get her daughter Kelly to write the naughty words …

    Man if either of those got out …

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  • http://www.melvinblog.com/ Melvin

    LOL. I’ve never ever thought Michael Dunlop is already 76!

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Melvin,

    Yes, turns 77 next month.

    Amazing really.

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  • http://expertlistbuilding.com Alex Newell

    Boy are you going to get into trouble for revealing these guarded truths. I hope you have a long long vacation booked…

    :-)

    Alex

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  • http://www.carlocab.com Carl Ocab

    So all the time I was chatting with your mother… argh -.-

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Alex,

    I know, I am leaving the industry to focus on my bee-keeping, so I am not worried about it.

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  • http://www.PerrysClickbox.com Paul Perry

    Hi Dean
    Well what can I say, I am gobsmacked I have been sucked in like the rest of you marketers.And Frank
    was my idol, I feel so cheated.

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  • http://intrepidwriter.blogspot.com Mrinal Bose

    Hi Dean,

    Have you gone crazy? Most internet marketers are scammers, I know, but heck, did you really play tricks with us this long? Or are you kidding?

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  • http://imtrip.com Tom

    Damn ! I’ve been fooled for so long ! I always thought internet marketing was crap and finally it’s true. No one can make money online.

    Are killer bunnies fake too ?

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    The bunnies are the only real thing.

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  • http://www.awareindia.net/ Samir Jhaveri

    Ha Ha!

    Nice one, Dean. Happy April Fools Day :)

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  • http://www.affiliatetraining.com Paul Graham

    This was too funny Dean!

    Well worthy of a retweet and I even went to the trouble of submitting it to Digg too.

    Keep up the good work ;-)

    ~ Paul

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  • http://www.teenentrepreneurblog.com Shonika Proctor, TeenBizCoach

    Yeah, I see how people could easily confuse Yanik’s red drowsy eyes with too much partying. I was told he actually has really bad allergies and terrible acid reflex. Poor guy.

    I know that drinking pineapple juice with you for 4 hours straight probably really pushes him to the limit but I would say he is more like a chamomile tea type of guy :)

    Funny post. Great job, Dean.

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  • http://www.everytherapist.com Lee Hunt (Deans Brother)

    Dean, I thought it was my job to do all your blog posts.

    BTW, Brad (Pitt) says you still owe him for the work he did for you at Yanik’s gig in Feb.

    Lee
    p.s. Don’t spend all your money on my present whist you’re in Madrid or is it Brighton or is it Chorlton Manchester UK

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  • http://www.biksy.com Bikram Singh

    this post was nothing but just bitching about people..i don’t believe it Dean…i know this is April fool’s joke..and i can sense how nicely you tried to make it sound real by talking about your mother and fictitious twin brother

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  • http://nitromlm.blogspot.com Szilard

    I don’t think it is good to steal somebody’s idols,because this takes away your dream,and if you have no dream,you have no hope,and without hope you have lost it all.

    These guys,especially Yanik and Frank,inspired me to do a lot of things,events,products in Hungary about online marketing for network marketers,which were great success.How something started,how is somebody in real life is important,their person gives inspirement to the others.
    I worked together with a lot of leading experts in the Network Marketing industry,like Robert Butwin, Tom “Big Al” Schreiter,Art Jonak,we had great successes together. Yess it is great to be with them,but of course they are human too.

    Today,my business is the leading event organizer in my country on that field. How it started? I owned the bank a lot of money,so I thougth, I need to make something very big. This is how “Big Al” came to Hungary and the rest is history…
    Many things are decided on a very common level,but that does not effect the value and the end result.

    Don’t get too close to your heroes…:)
    Do not meet your teenage love after 20 years…)

    So DO NOT steal my heroes!:)

    Thanks,Szilárd

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Ok, seeing as I over estimated the common sense of some people..

    YES, this is an April Fool’s post.

    I am good friends with people Like Yanik Silver, infact, I speak at his events.

    It is CLEARLY a joke.

    Not a word of the article is true… well, the only true part is that I have a brother called Lee, but he never writes any posts etc…

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  • amy

    Hey Dean,

    This is my first visit to the blog, won’t be my last. Thanks for pulling us away from all the worm talk and making a great funny!

    Happy April 1

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Amy,

    Glad you got the joke.

    I have been banging my head against the desk at some of the comments ;-)

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  • http://askiyabooyawale.com Iyabo Oyawale

    Dean,

    This was really a well thought of April 1 joke that took me away from all the bad economic news we have been subjected to lately.

    Great work,keep it up! I like the part about Frank Kern though.

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  • http://www.biksy.com Bikram Singh

    Hey Dean,

    i guessed it too…i knew you must be joking..all those twin brothers and your mom answering replies made me think…

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  • Chris Smith

    Hey, I new this was a fools joke cause no one real is called yanik and whos this frank keen. I aint herd of him

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  • http://nitromlm.blogspot.com Szilard

    Ok, I thought so…but you got me.. but what I wrote is not April fool:)

    Happy April 1st!

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  • http://www.ravioliroller.com The Ravioli Roller

    Dean…you’re a hoot. I just HAD to visit your blog today to see what you’d be up to :)

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  • http://www.inglesja.com Fabi

    AWESOME pic of Frank Kern! :)

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  • http://www.coachtia.com Tia Singh aka @TiaSparkles

    You left one out! Dean Hunt is actually a killer rabbit in disguise and we’ve been talking to bunny ears all along. In fact his entire kingdom is run by a girl rabbit called .. what was her name .. Jessica?

    Sales letters longer than my arm = I choose Death! Or never respecting those goons again .. so that part def resonated, all jokes aside.

    I’m off to the doctor’s to get my life back..

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  • http://www.shapesofsuccess.com Story Seeker

    Dean, you had me sucked in when I read “I have had enough” but when I read the next bit saying that you were getting out of the online business world – I knew that you were full of crap – this is an April fools joke……….
    I hope you didn’t pay your brother too much money because it actually looked like he was having a good time putting all your stuff together……can’t pay people to enjoy themselves – pain must feature somewhere along the way.
    Well done – enjoyed it immensely…..Howard

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  • http://whyfacebook.com Mari Smith

    Dude!!! (Dean/Lee) – I sooooo dig your sense of humor. Dang, this piece of brilliance had tears running down my cheeks!! :D I really think about 80% of what you’ve penned here is rather accurate tho. heh heh. Genius.

    I’m off to get hair extensions now… oh wait, PhotoShop is much easier. hehee

    @marismith

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  • http://www.GaryMcElwain.com Gary McElwain

    Dean

    This is a brilliant piece of work, or did your brother really write this. Either or still very funny. And to the guy with the question about the killer rabbits.

    Yes they are real! I saw them in the Monty Python movie “The Holy Grail”. Speaking of the holy grail, where did I put that new ebook i just bought. It says I can make a million dollars a minute, and not do anything.

    Isn’t this internet great!

    Gary McElwain

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  • http://www.connexted.com Craig Dewe

    No wonder your actor friend is out of work… damn is he ugly…

    I suggest he goes and finds a job where he can hide behind a computer screen all day. Maybe he should become an internet marketer as I heard about this guy who made $1,538,439.17 in just 36 minutes without even knowing how to turn on a computer!?!?

    He’s even writing an “ebook” to tell everyone how to do it but because he still hasn’t learnt how to type he’s having to write each one out by hand on yellow legal pad. But he has set his Product Launch Formula(tm) date for June 13th, 2079 and is only releasing 13 copies because of his carpal tunnel syndrome.

    So all you guys and girls better get ready because the internets is going to change forever!!!

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  • http://www.phifoundation.org/enlightenment.html Enlightenment

    A lot went on today so I forgot that it was April Fool’s day and so you got me. It was fun reading though.

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  • Leo C

    Hey Dean,

    PURE GENIOUS!

    That was a WELL PLANNED OUT BLUFF!

    WHOOOOOOOOOOH!!

    I do not know Yanik or Frank personally;However I am a NEWBIE to the WORLD Of INTERNET MARKETING, and I have purchased some PRICELESS STUFF FROM (THE MAN FROM GEORGIA) AKA,FRANK KERN. I am learning allot from MR KERN.

    Thanks Again,

    Leo C

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Craig,

    haha, you cheeky b88tard! ;-)

    Let me know how you go on ref the testimonial.

    Leo – Amazingly, it wasn’t planned at all… I made the entire thing up as I went along.

    Dean

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  • http://greatestreviews.net/ Agent 001

    All this is April Fool right.

    Nice, interesting and original.

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  • http://www.awebguy.com Mark Aaron Murnahan

    This is totally hilarious. I actually found this as I was contemplating writing an article about a guy who claims to be an Internet marketer for over 25 years. Yep, “over 25 years” … I wonder if he was selling Viagra back then.
    .-= Mark Aaron Murnahan´s last blog ..Google Website Marketing: How to Improve Website Traffic =-.

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  • http://www.moneymakingblog.info/download/visitors.doc visitors

    Your posting is very fantastic and theme base for which it is liking to every people. Thanks a lot

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  • http://mymarketingaid.co.uk/ Marketing Consultant Mancheste

    Thanks for sharing this. It providing amazing information…..

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  • http://www.52tube.com/ 52tube

    This is my first visit to the blog, won’t be my last. Thanks for pulling us away from all the worm talk and making a great funny!

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  • http://www.arsizvideo.net/ arsizvideo

    Dean…you’re a hoot. I just HAD to visit your blog today to see what you’d be up to :)

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  • AngryBird

    Yes, I knew it is fake! The gurus will tell you the money is waiting for you and all you have to do is click the button and the money flows in. In the beginning I believed, and I went in a few of the courses, and not even a cent I made! And the courses are so confusing, when I asked some of the students who seem much more computer knowledgeable than most other, also they themselves are confused. It’s a bull, all these are scams to suck every dollar you have. Don’t believe me? Try it if you dare. 

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  • AngryBird

    I realize it’s true the gurus make tons of money. You know how? By being gurus, that’s how. They don’t have to bother about selling anything, because they know it’s not really lucrative. They may have a few websites that sells certain things, but that is just for show, I believe.
    They know that there are huge money to be made by being gurus because there are hundreds of thousands of people desperate to “Learn” how to make money in the internet business, so chances are, they will subscribe to them either with a big lump sum of money or by monthly subscription. They will pay and pay and pay until they give up, no refund after 30 days. They are the people who laugh all the way to the bank everyday.

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