Bizarre Google Request Update


Good morning,

You are probably aware that over the weekend my “Bizzare google request” story was featured on many major news sites on the net. It has been discussed on thousands of sites and forums and the response was so high that my server crashed on two occasions. (Current total = 45,000+ readers)

I am honestly amazed by the response! I only posted the first e-mail on here because I thought it was amusing, and I was genuinly surprised to see the attention that it received.

Anyway, I have spoken to some friends and my plan was just to let this all calm down and for me to get back to normal. But I have received another e-mail from him this morning, and if you guys find it half as funny as I do then it is surely worth posting.

However, this time I have NOT replied to the e-mail. Quite frankly I am lost for words with this guy, and I am losing my patience.

So what I would like you to do is to use the comments box in this article and tell me what you think I should reply with.

Here is his e-mail:


Firstly, I have to admit that I was not impressed with the sarcastic nature of your reply.

Secondly, I am writing to let you know that I have contacted Google and am awaiting their reply.

You have to understand Dean that an online business should be higher in Google than a blog.

Don’t forget that Google is a business as well, they obviously make more money from other businesses than they do from blogs, so it is in their interest that I am higher than you for certain searches.

I have also contacted my lawyer about this issue, so you should expect a letter in the post very soon.

I expect a reply soon.

I honestly don’t know whether to just block his e-mails or keep playing with this guy. At times his attitude makes me laugh, but at other times he really frustrates me that he thinks he can bully people like this.

Amazingly, I have had e-mails from other webmasters who have had similar threats to this. So it appears that the larger sites are used to using bullying tactics. But these tactics will NOT work on the internet and they will NOT work on me!

He may have a good lawyer, but I have got a blog and quite frankly I am used to playing the underdog, so I don’t scare easily.

I look forward to hearing your replies for this e-mail. I am currently looking down the side of the sofa to see if I can find a prize for the best reply.


UPDATE: I have been getting a LOT of e-mails from people asking if they can blog about this story. So if you want to write about this in your blog/site then feel free.

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  • Andrew

    The most appropriate action would be to send him a link to this page, so he can se what the general public thinks of his request. Public humilation might get the point accross… think of it as the modern version of tar and feathering.

    Current score: 0
  • fredblotnic

    This is the most ridiculous thing i have heard. why is it he thinks you have power over rankings. Its like someone asking you to not speak because it doesn’t allow for his car to be heard. I did have a guy ask me to have his Property Account information removed because for some reason it ranked first in the listing on Google. The bad thing is I work for a government office and cant remove his account from public access. He threatened legal action as well. I doubt anything will come of it.

    Here should be the response;

    As a site that does not make money I respectfully acquiesce to your request. It is not my responsibility to maintain your rankings. If you wish to pay me to do so I would be all more than happy to maintain your ranking. But since I am not being paid I have four words for you “Sucks to be you!”

    Current score: 0
  • Unreasonable Bastard

    In the interest of humor Im going to be completely unreasonable, unlike the fine people above who posted reasonable solutions.

    Natural selection will prevail I say! Personally, I would play with him until he bursts a ventrical. This kind of behaviour in our global playground cannot be tolerated, and besides, it will be fun to poke him and watch him get more and more frusrated!

    If he gets this wound up about small issues, he’s bound for some serious hyper-tension and other health related issues anyways.

    Current score: 0
  • esem

    I cant believe the guy even sent the first letter, what type of person honestly thinks that way lol

    Current score: 0
  • Noggaddicts

    People will try anything to get a good ranking, I guess. Anything…

    Current score: 0
  • Pascal

    Saw this on the German intern dot de.

    Can this really be true? I hope he is not selling SEO services on his site. I guess he is selling shoes or so.

    Current score: 0
  • Cyball

    Nah, not “marketing madrid”. It doesn’t have a very obvious ranking with Dean #1 and the other place #2.

    My vote is for “honorary vowel”. Yesterday, Dean was #1 and the other company was #2. Today Dean is #1 and the other company is #3.

    The other company is small enough where you could believe they wouldn’t be as informed about Google ranking as they should.

    And, the term (or variations of it) is a very important aspect of their business.

    Just my guess anyway…

    Current score: 0
  • phrakture

    Well, I’m sure this publicity isn’t making the guy any happier. Keep throwing this blog entry at different sites (reddit, digg, etc etc) and enact the price of being a cock on the internet.

    Current score: 0
  • Gobezu Sewu

    This is too bizarre to believe.
    I wonder if you are kidding with us all or if this is for real.
    Which ever way, this thing have simply made you one of the popular blogs this days, maybe unwanted one…
    I bet there are some bloggers hoping they where the one who was contacted by this person.
    Anyway, I am afraid this will unleash a chain of made-up cryouts, I am not saying that you made-up this, from blog owners, just to get the attention you have got.
    Anyway good luck!

    Current score: 0
  • PKPearson

    “… so it is in their interest that I am higher than you…”

    Dean, please point out to your correspondent that he should have said, “that I *be* higher than you.” The subjunctive is used, because it is an expression of a wish or desire contrary to fact.

    I can’t believe this hasn’t been pointed out hundreds of times already. Doesn’t anybody care?

    Current score: 0
  • Josh

    Please reveal this idiot’s identity!

    Current score: 0
  • Demitrius

    I agree with the sentiment of the replies here. However, do not underestimate how low a lawyer can go. I never cease to be amazed at how some lawyer can skew the meaning or purpose of a law to favor his/her client.

    I would not be at all surprised if this jerk did indeed find a lawyer to bring some BS claim against you. And unfortunately, Dean, you’ll need to spend some bucks to defend yourself.

    Such is the sad state of our society. But “them” is “us.” For it does not matter how many a*s h**e lawyers there are out there, they are only in business because there are so many clients who clamor for their services.

    Current score: 0
  • David G. Paul

    that is just crazy – seems to me like he’s just sulking because he can’t get his business site to have decent enough links and content to help promote his site to a higher position in the search results.

    Current score: 0
  • jonnie


    There is only one thing to do.

    Why don’t you offer him your services for an hourly rate, and improve his site ranking…

    Current score: 0
  • Steve

    Don’t give out his website or the search term. He’d just get traffic, which is what he wants in the first place.

    Current score: 0
  • steward

    “Yep, he’s a brit.

    “Expect a letter in the post” is brit slang.”

    Yeah, but on the other hand he mentioned a lawyer. Brits would generally mention a solicitor, or a barrister.

    My guess is a Commonwealth country that uses the word “post” for snail mail and “lawyer” for ambulance-chaser. Any non-Brit Commonwealth residents out there that could identify a possibility?

    Current score: 0
  • Vladson

    Oh, my God !!!

    If this story wasn’t published in one of the Russian news-site i would not believe that it isn’t a joke…

    P.S: Sorry for my English.

    Current score: 0
  • Me too

    Hello Dean,

    This is what usually happens when company owners employ non-qualified guys who only can talk to lawyers :) Geez… Am I dreaming? Somebody wake me up! Can’t believe that’s all real. DARK COMES TO ALL BLOGGERS! Expect some guys coming to you one day and saying “You put words “piracy” and “DVD” in your blog” and reading Miranda’s to you

    You know what? You’re becoming famous :) All Russian part of Internet is looking forward for further emails from your opponent and… we’re ready to laugh together with you.


    Current score: 0
  • Nadeem (

    Dean, you should respond. I’d love to hear what they say this time :)

    You’re in Urdu forums as well now:

    Translation: “A blogger couldn’t believe his eyes when he received an email from a company asking him to remove his blog from Google because he was ranking higher than them. The company was adamant they were right and even threatened to contact Google. The blogger kept reading the email and was in bewilderment. He realised that the company was dead serious. He then emailed the company a response. For more information click on the following link: [takes to ]”

    Current score: 0
  • César Mello



    Tell us what the keyword is so everyone can creat a blog about it and bry his site down the SERPs…

    It would be fun!

    And his lawyer would get a lot of work.

    I would blog it! Just for fun!

    Current score: 0
  • Gene

    I know I’m replying a little late in this, but
    I used to run a site selling herbal heating and cooling pads. I had a female site owner (from the west coast) contact me telling me she had been selling them from her site for two years, had them COPYRIGHTED, and demanded I ‘cease & desist’. If I would have known blogging about idiots like this would bring such a plethora of traffic maybe I’d still be running that site huh? “I’D RATHER BE THOUGHT A FOOL THAN TO OPEN MY MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT”

    Current score: 0
  • JC John SESE Cuneta

    Don’t worry man, you’ll win.
    I also get the same emails from bullying companies because my blog appears more than once and higher than their companies.
    So far, nothing happened :p Now they instead want to hire me as their SEO Expert… I’m not even one to begin with.


    Current score: 0
  • Greg

    Looking forward for an interesting discussion on this…

    Current score: 0

    Like a few others within these comments, I wonder if this wasn’t just a publicity stunt for…

    If not, I feel sorry for the confused/angry fellow and am glad you did not post the term(s) or his site. It’s likely he’s read through these posts and their comments and is feeling pretty bad…

    Not a very Merry Christmas for him I bet.

    Current score: 0
  • BB

    Hey, getting round to reading some of your older blogs and this one caught my attention. You should most definetly reply! Im unsure what would be best to say to him and his oh so brilliant lawyer. Does the guy actually think he’s got a case here? Im not exactly aged here with experience but im wise enough to know this guy’s a walking disaster.

    Current score: 0
  • Michelle Goodall

    You must keep this going!

    This person has obviously never heard of online public relations. If the name of his company or his personal details get out somehow it could be disasterous for his business or even his future chances of employment. So I would counsel caution – do not reveal his identity unless you have sought legal advice.

    He will be used as a case study by people like myself, who specialise in online public relations, to illustrate that bullying coprate tactics can never win in the wonderfully democratic world of the web.

    I’ll just add this classic ‘webmaster(?) with shocking social skills makes a PR blunder’ into my list of ‘things that organisations and brands should never do on the internet’ and will link when my blog is up and running.

    Current score: 0
  • Lars

    Hi Dean!

    Almost a month ago – and no news???! Don’t you miss your cozy conversations??! ;-)

    Please tickle him to reply to you…!

    PS – You could definitely set up a system allowing us all to pay for your legal assistance against this idiot… No worries – even I wanted to deposit some

    Take care, Lars

    Current score: 0

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  • metacritic

    Hi (removed),

    What hard facts support your opinion that business Web sites should be ranked higher in search engines?

    Have you looked at purchasing a sponsored link spot in Google? That type of ranking is the only kind I am aware of that allows for the subjective ranking of businesses over other types of ranks. In addition, you may be able to pursue a legal course of action with that type of link since you would be paying for a service that is defined by a contract.

    In addition, please remember that an e-mail message can be construed in a variety of ways because one cannot read verbal inflections and body gestures. Satire and pessimism is often perceived in e-mail messages where it does not exist.

    Good luck with your business,


    Current score: 0
  • Ben Johnston

    Hey, can you tell us the keyword NOW, or is this guy still in business? At least go ahead and check, perhaps his domain is for sale, you could buy it and have some fun…

    Current score: 0
  • Sasha

    Heeheehehe, more please!

    And what is the url of your blog? Maybe it’s @ the top of the page; I go look.

    Current score: 0
  • Justyna Bizdra

    Wow, this story is a real hit:) It’s good to know that such situations happen because who knows one day I might get one as well;)

    Poor guy with poor website:P
    .-= Justyna Bizdra´s last blog ..Blogging business � wordpress com, wordpress org czy blogspot? =-.

    Current score: 0
  • Stuart Wooster

    I hope you’ve told him to quite simply “Buzz off!”
    .-= Stuart Wooster ´s last blog ..StuartWooster- Have to be up in 6hrs time for 1st day back at work after 2 weeks Insert I soo love getting up at an unearthly hour comment here =-.

    Current score: 0
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    thank you for the tips. great post.

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    My advice is just ignore this mail and go ahead..:)

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