3 Popular Twitter Updates (That Will Get You Blocked)

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twitter sucks

We all have things on Twitter than make us want to dry vomit, here are three types of common Twitter updates (Tweets) that make me wanna throw my laptop out of a window, then bury the shattered remains of the laptop, then pee on the land that it is buried in.

1: Updates From the Conference, Seminar or Event YOU Are At

Why you shouldn’t tweet about it: I am sure that talk you just heard on the ethics of web apps since the decline of the textile industry is fascinating for you, but that is because you heard it, we didn’t. So tweeting about it is not only pointless, but annoying as well.

Example: “Oh wow, @garyvee just PWNED the stage at **insert conference name here**”

2: What You Had for Breakfast

Why you shouldn’t tweet about it: Ok, this one has been around since the dawn of Twitter. But what people are trying to say here is that pointless stuff that is relevant to you and nobody else, is perhaps not worth wasting 140 characters on. PS: I had Corn Flakes for breakfast this morning…. just sayin.

Example: “I am going to make toast, putting toast in toaster, eating toast, pooing the toast” etc…

3: Wishy Washy, Feel Good, Lacking of any Real Substance Advice

Why you shouldn’t tweet about it: Once upon a time some clever marketers realised that to be successful on Twitter you should provide value, make people feel good etc…

Unfortunately, this now means that Twitter is full of things that sound warm and fluffy, but are of zero value in the real world, zero substance, and quite often will make me puke.

Example: “Feel the inner power from within and drive forwards with might and love”  (How do you turn this sort of crap into something of any value?)

Summary

Stop it! Just stop it!

Disclaimer

I experiment with all sorts of stuff on twitter, so there is every chance that I have broken all of the above rules numerous times and am therefore a hypocritical clown-faced-douche, so please do NOT follow me @DeanHunt I suck!

  • Nina

    I just don’t get Twitter at all.. I only have one word to describe it: BORING!!

    Current score: 0
  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Nina, I have a love/hate relationship with Twitter.

    I like the almost instant feedback it gives, and I tend to be able to stay up to date in current events (a.k.a which celeb died today) before the news or major sites find out about it.

    But some aspects annoy me, hence this article.

    Speak soon.

    Dean

    Current score: 0
  • http://profitsrgood.com Roland

    I love Twitter. Yes there is a lot of rubbish on it but that is true of the Internet full stop.
    It takes time for something new to settle down and I am sure that as people get more experienced a lot of the very useless stuff will decline.
    In the meanwhile you just need to be ruthless about whose tweets you bother to read.
    .-= Roland´s last blog ..Sell the Sizzle! =-.

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  • http://twitter.com/jimchianese Jump Start Jim

    If you are a Mass Media outlet, you get people feeling involved, it may be a good thing…I am not.

    If you are a guru with raving fans by the tens of thousands you can get people giving you ‘Guru” feedback,it may be a good thing…I am Not.

    If you are bored and have time to waste then Twitter may be a good thing…

    If you can be the one to share great info, and you don’t have a bunch of “off-target” followers, which I do (7,000+), you can share and build a following…I just don’t yet…lazy/busy I guess.

    Get some followers that are in the media, release some PR, show some expertise, and you may end up with some benefits on Twitter.

    I still plan on getting serious about making it part of my daily pure content value sharing, but like you Dean, I find it difficult to be patient with the 3 ‘things” listed above, so I tend to stick to my other activities.

    With only 241 Tweets to my name @JimChianese (compared to your 3500 Tweets, Dean)I’m no expert, I just felt like I should join the party after all the peer pressure I got from a seminar I was at!
    I know I was weak…wait! It was @DeanHunt that kept me going on Twitter, hmmm

    Honestly I spend more time reading this blog than reading what people are making for breakfast.
    .-= Jump Start Jim´s last blog ..JimChianese: RT @adamurbanski 5 steps to six figures – free teleclass! Your free seat is here: http://bit.ly/1mTXua =-.

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  • http://TheImpatientEntrepreneur.com Jump Start Jim

    Okay correction, I had to go into Twitter and post 2 more for you Dean…so Now I have 243 Tweets…Just trying to give back to you my friend, for all the info I get from you.

    Thanks again
    .-= Jump Start Jim´s last blog ..RSS info Basics =-.

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    “Honestly I spend more time reading this blog than reading what people are making for breakfast”

    Therefore, people should use Twitter less, and read this blog more ;-)

    Jim, you are awesome. Keep in touch, and thanks for the tweets.

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  • http://www.theathomewelder.com Andy Fogarty

    2 things that drive me absolutely batty on Twitter:

    • the bazillions of so-called “Gurus”

    •instant DM’s with their latest and greatest crap product

    Honestly people. Lets at least have 140 character conversation before you turn all used car salesman on me.
    These 2 things make me wish there was a “shoot a bird” button next to the “retweet” button

    Just sayin

    Current score: 0
  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Andy,

    It amazes me, what were all these “social media gurus” doing before Twitter?

    Even funnier are the gurus with 12 followers who joined Twitter in 2009 ;-)

    I have been testing an automated DM with a free report, to be honest, it has built an OK list, but I wouldnt recommend it.

    Dean

    Current score: 0
  • http://www.awebslife.tumblr.com Kyle Webs

    Twitter won’t block you for it though…
    .-= Kyle Webs´s last blog ..Sel’s label didn’t like Kiss & Tell =-.

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Kyle, no, what I meant was that I would consider blocking people who did this stuff all the time.

    Perhaps “unfollowed” would have been a better word.

    Dean

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  • http://www.danwellman.co.uk Dan Wellman

    lol nice examples :D ‘pooing the toast’ amazing!

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  • Todd

    I was tiwting and forgot so this is a tiwt to say I like forgot. My toast light brown and then I dropped it and I thought ooooo noooooo then I tiwted about me dropping my toast and how I had to do another toast then I did not know if I wanted butter or not so I tiwted again to ask a friend and they said not butter then my toast was cold so I had to re heat it but then I thought I will just heat up the butter so i told all my followers that i had a great idea about heating butter and how my toast was ready and then I needed jelly and I had 2 kinds so……..Screw tweeting

    Current score: 0
  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Todd,

    haha, awesome.

    I love it!

    You hit the nail on the head my friend.

    Dean

    Current score: 0
  • http://marketmetweet.com/ Tammy

    Hey dean – great insight as usual. Twitter marketing is important, but there’s such a thing as “ethical twitter marketing” which is really what folks ought to strive for towards :)

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  • http://twitter.com/bhinn Christopher J. Dennis

    Cheers Dean,

    Actually, these 3 things y mucho mas were covered *in-depth* by Randy Gage’s Twitter Manifesto Redux. Have you read it? If not, Google it ASAP, muuuuy rapido!!! heh
    .-= Christopher J. Dennis´s last blog ..bhinn: How bout our #USMNT ???!!! INCREDIBLE !!!! @charliedavies9 would be so proud of his teammates @yatpundit #9 #soccer #WorldCup =-.

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  • http://evenflowdave.com evenflowdave

    the “gurus” that post nothing but “inspirational” quotes are the ones that annoy me the most.

    also, watch out for attractive young ladies trying to sell you teeth whitening products :)
    .-= evenflowdave´s last blog ..Fox Hunting is Wrong; Save the cute furry animals from evil conservatives! =-.

    Current score: 0
  • Fred Eklund

    Love your shit man!

    Totally agree with you on the Twitter matters, I mean, come on…

    BTW, awesome vid with Gary V the other day, you guys humble me with your passion and intellect.

    Talk to you soon man, keep up the good work!

    Cheers,

    Fred

    Current score: 0
  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Fred,

    Thanks man.

    Glad you enjoyed the vid with Gary, he is very impressive.

    Keep in touch.

    Dean

    Current score: 0
  • http://bslimbwealthy.com Elizabeth Johns

    I am a little technologically challenged so am not sure what I should or shouldnt twitter about but it is interesting to read some of the things that are there

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  • http://www.minkbaby.co.uk claire stokoe

    I disagree with the conference tweet bit, i use them all the time as a means to help those not in get in on the action, get video’s of the speakers as they go, hashtags that help everyone who attended to comment on the entire event later and compile a list of what was going on for their own blog posts later?

    Although that could be me being selfish? i could be ..

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  • http://deanhunt.com Dean Hunt

    Claire,

    It depends to some extent on the tweet.

    If you are quoting awesomeness from the speaker, that is cool, if you are linking to videos, streams or anything that makes us feel we are there, or anything that enables us to actually enjoy it, that is great.

    But stuff like “I am at #FOWA, the speaker was awesome” is not only pointless, but it annoys the people who aren’t able to be there.

    I didnt have room to fit all that in my blog post, but glad you brought it up so I could address it.

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  • http://www.businessnoob.com Daniel Matthews

    Twitter is great, if you can actually converse with real people, these types of tweets tend to come from spammers and again they never provide anything of value.

    I’m also getting sick of success quotes, alright we’ve heard them already… how about coming up with your own?
    .-= Daniel Matthews´s last blog ..Michael Dunlop Interview – The Business of Blogging =-.

    Current score: 0