We all have things on Twitter than make us want to dry vomit, here are three types of common Twitter updates (Tweets) that make me wanna throw my laptop out of a window, then bury the shattered remains of the laptop, then pee on the land that it is buried in.
1: Updates From the Conference, Seminar or Event YOU Are At
Why you shouldn’t tweet about it: I am sure that talk you just heard on the ethics of web apps since the decline of the textile industry is fascinating for you, but that is because you heard it, we didn’t. So tweeting about it is not only pointless, but annoying as well.
Example: “Oh wow, @garyvee just PWNED the stage at **insert conference name here**”
2: What You Had for Breakfast
Why you shouldn’t tweet about it: Ok, this one has been around since the dawn of Twitter. But what people are trying to say here is that pointless stuff that is relevant to you and nobody else, is perhaps not worth wasting 140 characters on. PS: I had Corn Flakes for breakfast this morning…. just sayin.
Example: “I am going to make toast, putting toast in toaster, eating toast, pooing the toast” etc…
3: Wishy Washy, Feel Good, Lacking of any Real Substance Advice
Why you shouldn’t tweet about it: Once upon a time some clever marketers realised that to be successful on Twitter you should provide value, make people feel good etc…
Unfortunately, this now means that Twitter is full of things that sound warm and fluffy, but are of zero value in the real world, zero substance, and quite often will make me puke.
Example: “Feel the inner power from within and drive forwards with might and love” (How do you turn this sort of crap into something of any value?)
Stop it! Just stop it!
I experiment with all sorts of stuff on twitter, so there is every chance that I have broken all of the above rules numerous times and am therefore a hypocritical clown-faced-douche, so please do NOT follow me @DeanHunt I suck!